2015 Is Going To Be MY Year

It's so hard to believe that we are now in the year 2015. I can remember being a kid and talking about what things would be like in the year 2000. Silly things like flying cars and having to not go to school anymore. Life was so much easier then. I didn't think so then but I sure do now. It seems like the older I get the more difficult things get especially health wise. I remember when I had my firstborn, I never worried once about loosing the weight that I had gained while pregnant, it just fell off...until I had my forth baby. It seemed like I looked in the mirror one day and I was as big as a house. I would never have told anyone how much I did weight because I was ashamed and embarrassed. Here I was with four kids, running like crazy to get them to school and after school activities and very involved in the little league program doing anything/everything to make my kids happy but deep down inside I was miserable. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and loved doing everything that I did for them, it was ME that I was unhappy with. I was a whopping 289 pounds and I'm 5 foot 8 inches so that was obese for my body frame. At the time I weighed more than my husband who was big himself. I kept that to myself until now. I did not want anyone knowing exactly how much I weighed because I myself was ashamed and I did not want to be the subject of jokes. 
I loved every minute of every single thing that I did in raising the kids. I enjoyed the running getting them to school and sports. I enjoyed getting them up and to school.. Every single thing that a parent does I sincerely loved it. I would give anything for them to be little again. I believe in my heart that I did the best that I could with what we had...unfortunately for me, it made me not take care of myself. I didn't think that I had time! I would often times have just enough time to get them home from school, do some homework, get dinner on the table, and run out the door to get someone to a ballgame or practice so I often skipped eating because I had other things to do. I spent many many years doing exactly that, going sometimes days without eating. If I did eat, it was usually after everyone was settled for the night while sitting on the edge of my bed. I tried a few times to diet but I didn't really know how because I just wasn't eating. I couldn't figure out why or how I was that overweight if I did not eat! 
I have a few medical issues and one of them being high blood pressure. I did go to the Dr for it and was on medication to lower it. I saw the Dr monthly and each time my blood pressure was high and I was overweight. My Dr. just kept telling me to lose weight and the blood pressure would come down and it wasn't. One afternoon I was just coming back from a visit with my kids up in Jacksonville I had this really weird feeling in my head. I had the shakes, I felt dizzy, and I really felt like I was going to pass out. I went to the hospital and was seen by a phenomenal Dr who is now my current primary care physician. After telling him my history and that I had suffered with the high blood pressure for so many years even on medication he worked aggressively on getting my blood pressure down. I had weekly visits that eventually turned into monthly visits to get it under control and keep it under control. During each of those visits he was constantly telling me that I needed to lose weight and every time I told him that I'd try. After a few months worth of visits being at the exact same weight and sometimes more, he asked me HOW I was trying to lose weight. I fessed up by telling him that I only eat a little dinner so I didn't understand why I wasn't loosing it. He then told me that was indeed my problem, that I was NOT eating. Confused I asked him how eating more was going to make me lose weight and he said by me not eating my body was storing everything I did give it because it didn't know when I was going to feed it again! I wasn't burning anything, I was actually hanging on to it. I was sick of being fat so I figured it wouldn't hurt to try. He told me to eat at least three good meals a day and he guaranteed I'd start to lose the weight. 
I don't think I had an actual breakfast since I was a kid. Lunch? Who had time running constantly with four kids? I did what the Dr had suggested and started eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I had to actually set an alarm to remind myself that I had to eat because it had been a habit for so long it's not a way of life for me. I was so nervous about gaining weight every single meal I ate and when it came time to see him after the month was up, I was literally shaking on my way to see him. It came time to get on that scale and I almost cried when I saw that I had actually lost 7 pounds! Seven pounds just because I ate??!! I was excited and my Dr. just said "I told you!" That was all that I needed to continue on. I saw that it was working and was more determined then I've ever been in my entire life. I made a resolution that year to get myself healthy and lose some weight. I continued to eat and visit my Dr. monthly with each visit having me more excited because I was continuing to lose it. Before long I had lost a whopping 100 pounds. I haven't weighed 160 pounds since high school and I have more to lose but I am confident now because I'm loosing it! For the first time in my life I feel better about myself and I finally followed through on a resolution! I lost weight and tons of it. 
If you've been really overweight and lost the weight, then you KNOW about all the extra "junk" that's hanging around and in my case, it's been around for over 20 years so there's tons of it! I can't get rid of it simply by eating healthier, now I have to eat AND work. By work I mean exercise and muscle toning/tightening. That brings me to my resolution for 2015 which is to work on getting in shape and getting rid of that "junk" I have an ultimate dream of one day participating in some kind of 5K so this year is important to me because I need to get myself into shape. I am no professional in any of this, nor do I know what I'm doing. I just know that I'm more determined now then ever to one day achieve my goal. I have done a lot of research online and with the help of my Dr., I have a plan. I have a bicycle, some gym equipment, and a good pair of shoes, so I'm putting every single one of them to good use. I am riding my bike daily, doing some yoga, using the gym equipment, and most importantly, I am continually eating and eating REGULARLY. I hope by the end of this year to be able to run a mile or two, be in a smaller pants size, and have the confidence and strength to sign up for a run. I know I can do it...am I sure that I will accomplish this? No, but I have faith in myself.. Something that I haven't had in many years and that's what keeps me going.. My faith. 
What have you decided to try for the new year? 
Addie 

Me through the years. I don't have many of me because I avoided the camera